you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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