taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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