Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
