how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
