He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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