Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm like, not good at living.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize