You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
