i jhust puked up my retainher.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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