so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Randomize
