I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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