super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
