So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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