hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
