I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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