he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
