i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
