Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize