Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
