I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
