Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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