I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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