I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
