Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
