What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
