i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
