Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
