I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
