He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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