I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
