they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just want to make out with him forever
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
