so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize