There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
