no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize