I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
