no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
