I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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