get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
