All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
