I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
