i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
