guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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