Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
