Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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