Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
