i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
