I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
