also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
