okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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