ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I need a burrito and a hug.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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