yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
