I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
