I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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