Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
