8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
