the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
