Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
