New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
