her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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