Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
