omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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