Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
