What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
