I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
