I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
