spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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