I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
