How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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